In the current absence of Mad Men, there is still Christina Hendricks with her formidable talent[s].



Ken pointed out the dress is by Christian Siriano from PR Season 4.  My worlds collide in brilliant ways.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the only show I have remotely begun to watch on FX, is a brilliant show that stands as owner to my favorite TV musical ever, The Nightman Cometh.  Cue "Tiny Boy, Baby Boy, I Need You" and "Troll Toll".  The real nod is the quietly liberal undercurrent that touches on a multitude of personal topics, most interesting to me being weight and straight guys going gay.

Many times throughout the series, Sweet Dee and Dennis make reference to Charlie, my favorite character, being fat.  He isn't actually fat, just a small beer belly that both of the other guys occasionally have, depending on the season.  I pay attention to this type of thing so even if it isn't pointed out, I know.  Oh I know.  Charlie is a firm argument in favor of beards and cubs in general.  He's a short little guy with manic reactions, a furry belly and beard and you begin to wonder if maybe all cubs are that cute.



On the cute note, the three Irish/Italian looking male leads often find themselves in overly tight clothes or solely their underwear.  Dennis in particular finds ways to get naked or put on a leotard in nearly every other episode.  I used to subscribe to the smooth chest adventures in high school but post college, I have increasingly become a fan of furry guys. Most likely because I am one myself.   Add in hipster hilarity with a porn star mustache and Dennis is offering up drunken rollerrink sex appeal.



It's Always Sunny offers up a lot of homosexual context with its three straight males, epitomized by the line from above mentioned musical "You gotta pay the troll toll if you want to get in this boy's hole".

Supposed to be boy's soul.  Soul.

Watching It's Always Sunny is very close to grabbing a beer with friends from my private Catholic alma mater.  Most of the guys are Irish or Italian and we generally were blasphemous on a daily basis.  Yea, some of us were gay, some of us were drunks but all of us were laughing.  The best seasons of It's Always Sunny were 1 and 2 if you are investigating the debauchery.
 

My good friend Jake and I get together and outline theories/ideas we need help understanding. I pull out paper, draw diagrams and he helps point out problems with my line of thought.  For example, we tackled "ontological paradox with butterfly effect in the progression of time" the last time we hung out.  Also he's a voracious eater so we go on several food runs, watch bad movies and generally nerd out.  The bummer on that end is that he's 6'4'' and extremely trim. Little belly started, there's a bit of hope.

This last weekend, we watched the documentary Monster Camp.



Besides the general hilarity, I learned the following definitions:

1. LARP: Live Action Role Playing

2. Phys Rep: Physical representation of a spell or weapon

3. The Strega:  Italian for witch, American for bitchy female nerd



The general thrust of the movie is following Seattle's LARP community of NERO.  These are a community of people who meet to create live versions of role playing games.  With extremely bad costumes.  Honestly, I readily admit my friends and myself are hardcore nerds.  As I said, the guy I watched this doc with, we had just finished working out ontological paradox for kicks. This movie reminds you of the social awkward nerds, the ones who didn't graduate from high school, dress in robes for going to the mall and have a serious disconnect in making uncomfortable situations.



You want to feel sorry for everyone because they truly are so extremely out of touch but I dare you to watch the 'End of the Sea Elf Race" and not laugh.  Dare you.  I'm considering a "7th Annual Remember the Sea Elf Fun Run".  True tragedy, the elimination of that race.  You will not be forgotten.

All in all, the movie moves back and forth between tragedy and comedy.  I laughed, I felt extremely sorry for the disabled woman who clung to the fantasy, and ultimately laughed again at the grown man who refers to himself as Tinkerstouch the Dwarf.  I recommend it not for the cinematography or the sweeping visuals but the inside look at a group of nerds let loose with foam swords and pillowcase costumes.  You might even halfway want to join them.

 

*runs in circles*






 

*stops for air*

One more day.  Fire up Bobby Darin - Beyond the Sea, baby.  It's time to return to Rapture.
 

When I discovered that Neil Gaiman, author of Coraline and the Sandman Series, was the recipient of the Newberry Medal award for his novel The Graveyard Book, I immediately picked up a copy from Borders. 

First, shopping the Young Adult section of a bookstore is the fastest way to feel like a pederast.   I was close to fake inquiring with a salesclerk as to where I might find this book so that they would walk with me.  I ultimately stepped up to the plate, found the book and made my purchase.

The book opens with a multiple homicide and goes from there.  That's all I will really say about storyling, other than this is a Newberry Award winning children's book that opens with a knife murder of two adults and a child.  FINALLY!  I felt as if I were coming home.

In this book:

1. Vampires
2. Werewolves
3. Ghouls
4. Ghosts
5. League of Assassins
6. Magic
7. Possession
8. Flying Mummies
9. Ancient Evil
10. Heartbreak



I really, truly enjoyed The Graveyard Book and yes, I was earnestly crying at a very certain point.  It was a lovely read and I'm now picking up the rest of Gaiman's Young Adult literature so that I can pass the books down.  This is a writer who understands those of us growing up who already knew the world was more than just a little dark.

In lieu of gifts, please send Ben Cohen to visit:

Hi Iris!  I never use exclamation points but you deserve them! 

Iris, you crazy nut!  You are a pinnacle of inspiration for us all and hip hip hooray for you on that note!  Let me throw a few of your most inspirational quotes out there for any screwball who doesn't know how brilliant you are!

The Quotable Mrs. Iris Robinson

1. I cannot think of anything more sickening than a child being abused. It is comparable to the act of homosexuality. I think they are all comparable. I feel totally repulsed by both.

2. There will be a judgement day and when I am judged I want to know that I did all I could to spread the word of God.

3. I have a very lovely psychiatrist who works with me in my offices and his Christian background is that he tries to help homosexuals - trying to turn away from what they are engaged in. I'm happy to put any homosexual in touch with this gentleman and I have met people who have turned around and become heterosexuals.


Iris! Gee whiz chickadee, you sure are a confident strong moral woman!  I'm happy to see someone who exercises freedom of speech and stands by her convictions!  You are a beacon for Christianity and a role model for us all!


[The lovely Mrs. Robinson pictured with husband, First Minister of Northern Ireland]

Kudos on your extramarital affairs!   Frankly, I appreciate a woman who gets some extra on the side!  Screwing that nineteen year old boy who you have known since he was nine is hot!  As that you are 60, I"m super impressed you have raging hormones! 

Oh and the fact that you also banged his dead father is even cooler!  Banging the son in the grieving time period after his father died, super hot!  You know how to press an advantage and you should! Women are making it on their own!

Sure you cheated on your husband multiple, multiple times but you deserve it!  I know you love the Bible and will be pleased as punch to be judged but frankly, we all know God is going to give you a free pass on the multiple extramarital affairs!  Psh! Who even reads those parts of the Bible that says that's bad?!

Anyway girl, I'm glad you got yours in more way than one! Girl needs to do what a girl needs to do! 

Keep your head up!  Ignore the media scrutiny!  You are above it all girl!


[Sassy!]


 

Divide to conquer.

"Reversing" food means instant disqualification. Suppress your gag reflex by dividing the chow mentally into smaller, more manageable portions. Drink water to push vittles to the small intestine and free up your gut.

http://howto.wired.com/wiki/Win_an_Eating_Contest
 

Grant Hackett: Swimmer





Something to be said for becoming accustomed to carb loading. 

One and a half hours later, my Little Sister was complete.  Granted, we were watching movies during her creation but nonetheless, it was a serious undertaking.  Her name is Harriet and she wants to be a dancer when she grows up.  Which will never happen because she's been genetically corrupted and turned into a monster.  The dancing world mourns its loss.


Bioshock Paper Foldables Available for Download Here:
http://www.2kgames.com/cultofrapture/article/bioshock2paperfoldables